But six weeks between posts is fine, right? Right.
ExVee is brought to you today by the letter X and the number 5, and also by Mountain Dew Throwback, which has been RUINED FOREVER.
See, over the summer when Throwback first came out, it had a clear intent. It was rereleasing the old formula, including being sweetened with real sugar, taking Dew back to its roots as essentially yellow sugar water. At some point along the way, Pepsico decided to add orange juice concentrate, as well as a bunch of other shelf-stabilizer chemicals and junk, leading to the well known flavor of Mountain Dew today, which Kilby describes as “vomit.” I am not inclined to disagree.
Right, so fast forward to December 28th. Mountain Dew (and Pepsi but who the hell cares about that crap?) Throwback is to be released for a second eight week run. Joy! For while being severly under-carbonated, Mountain Dew Throwback tasted wonderful and not vomit-like. Non-Vomitous, if you will. I scoured everywhere I could to try to obtain a sample on the very first day, and finally succeeded at a gas station. Yay convenience stores! Upon first taste of this long awaited return, I immediately knew it was wrong. Oh, so terribly wrong. A quick glance to the ingredients proved my belief. Mountain Dew Throwback, version 2 contained such lovelies as orange juice concentrate, and all manner of chemical additives I fear to investigate. In effect, Throwback Second Version is regular old Mountain Dew, except made with sugar as opposed to corn syrup. We are crushed, and severely disappointed. More maddening was that the new batch was actually as carbonated as I had wanted the first run to be. But what good is that if it does not have that special taste of my youth?
…well, okay. Vomit was also a taste of my youth (I was an unwell child) but that isn’t the particular memory I’d like to relive.
Why, oh why did you have to lead me along for all these months, only to substitute the object of my desire for some homeless guy in a dress? Pepsico, you have ruined my life.